The Passing of a Beloved
Chet and Vivian….Sharing the Sublime
Vivian’s husband Chet passed on from a long bout with cancer. My heart aches for her but I also watch in awe as she experiences the fullness of her grief with little resistance. When I am in her presence I am reminded of the dignity and delicacy of the human heart. Vivan knows all of the steps of the grief process from her counseling background. But now she knows them intimately. It is written in her bones, as a shaman might say. When we know something first hand, know it so deeply that every cell of our being is imbued with the “knowing”, then it is “written in our bones”.
Soon after Chet passed we had a very poignant session.
Vivian and I were sitting together, connecting to our inner light when I noticed Chet was present in the room. Just a little above and off to the left of the side of her head he appeared as he looked in life. Fully clothed in a sport shirt and khakis, he appeared casual and well groomed. From experience I now know that when I see a spirit in their “street clothing” it indicates that they are still in the early stages of transition, in dimensions close to the earth plane. Quietly, so as not to interrupt Vivian’s restful reprieve from grief, I told her that Chet was with us. She was a little shocked and immediately felt very vulnerable but she remained centered and curious. She felt wisps of energy over the left side of her head, but since I had cued her into that location she wasn’t sure if she was imagining it.
Chet was insistent with me. He wanted to assure Vivian that he was OK. He described his surroundings.
“It’s a place of great beauty and serenity. I would compare it to a golf course back home. Rolling green hills, blue sky, sunshine, it’s very nice and I’m actually very busy learning about another kind of life. I mean it’s different from life on earth but it’s still life. I still feel sort of like a person, but not the person I was. I still love science. I’m able to have experiences that seem incredible. Vivian knows that I’m totally intrigued by the sun and now I am able to talk to it. Not in word but as if it is another being. I love getting very close to it and watching the fire and light and then at some point we merge and I know it as part of me. Now I know that I only understood solar flares from a very limited point of view. I can’t explain it exactly in your language but now I’ve experienced them from the inside. They are more like waves that carry information out into the cosmos also to the earth. The earth and the sun seem to be in conversation. I’m learning a whole new way of being here, it’s kind of fun and interesting being in new territory!”
Hearing his message through me helped Vivian relax. She did a lot of caring for his basic needs when he was alive so she felt relieved when she heard he was happy. She also confirmed that as a physicist his lifelong passion was researching the effects of solar fields on the earth’s atmosphere.
After sharing this news he leaned over and gave her the sweetest kiss, it felt like a valentine! Then he expanded his valentine to a huge downpour of golden light and love that filled every inch of Vivian’s being. We were both immersed in this incredible blessing of love from the other side. She was breathless with excitement and bliss.
During his life Chet was never one to dote too much. You could tell that he loved his family deeply but he had a stillness to him that was rarely disturbed by waves of emotion. He was never really interested in Vivian’s spiritual pursuits. He never hindered them, he just didn’t share in them or understand them. So the next event brought us both to our knees in gratitude.
When Vivian first sat down for the session she was questioning why she had spent so much time seeking spiritual experiences. Now they all seemed so unimportant. Who needs to journey within when your loved ones are around? Isn’t enjoying life with them what’s most important? In the absence of her beloved of course her feelings were natural. I offered to Vivian that spending time in spiritual practice had helped her develop a capacity and an inner core strength that was supporting her through the grieving process now and that would continue serving her in the future. I wanted to confirm that her spiritual practice was not in vain or frivolous and help her see how it was supporting her now.
Chet told me he had a gift for Vivian. He held out a beautiful single golden white flame in the palm of his hand. The scene was very “Zen” like, dark, simple and just a single flame.
“I was not very interested in Vivian’s spiritual quest when I was in an earth body. But now I see that we were searching for the same thing. We both wanted to feel in AWE of greatness. Hers was of the divine and mine was of the cosmos. The greatest gift I can give her is to let her know that I now share the same deep appreciation of the sublime divine beauty that she does. I want to place this simple golden flame in her heart, it is the only thing I can do to help fulfill her deepest desire and to heal her heart. “
Gently he placed the flame in her heart and lightly blew on it so that it glowed more brightly, just for a moment. Vivian’s heart almost burst at that very moment. Huge tears exploded from her eyes. She felt a combined ecstasy and agony in a moment of transcendence that she will never forget. I burst into tears as well. I had never witnessed such an exalted gift of love, ever.
Vivian and Chet basked together in the splendor, beyond time and space. At some point we both felt the energy subsiding. Chet explained, through me, that he had to leave. He was not saying good bye for good and let her know that he would visit again. He stepped behind the dark veil that separates his dimension from ours and we knew he had left. The room felt empty. It took us a few moments to get our bearings.
Vivian took several deep breaths and knew not to disrupt the rapture of her heart with the ramblings of her mind. She gathered her belongings, we hugged and I walked her to the door.
I feel so blessed to be witness to so many miracles of spirit!
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