Making Sense of Embodiment February 14, 2019
Dear Fellow Empaths and Spiritual Seekers,
I know it’s difficult for some empaths and spiritual seekers to make sense of embodiment. We often feel that our physicality gets in the way of our spiritual light and freedom.
I’ve struggled with this from the very moment I birthed onto this planet. The heaviness, the weight and sluggishness, and the inability to fly off into the heavens were all particularly frustrating. But what I missed the most was the overwhelming pure love of the higher realms. My body ached, my mind lost clarity, and my emotions became untethered without immersion in divine love and light.
Since the very moment of my first breath, I was desperate to return to the expansive realm of light and love. My consciousness learned quickly to leave my body and journey back to the familiar dimensions of the disembodied state. I yearned to return every moment; being present wasn’t an option.
It turns out I had no context for my physical journey. There was no spiritual ceremony to greet my entrance into the world. No vision of my spiritual source, my soul identity, or my life purpose was identified and acknowledged by my parents or grandparents. I was not “known” or “seen” as a soul on the journey of a lifetime.
Did I choose to live in an earth body without anyone recognizing my soul? What would possess any being to choose such a path?
Without a common gathering place for our souls to meet and recognize each other, there was no reference point for our mutual Oneness.
As a result, I was easily confused, and that confusion followed me for a long time. It was so easy for life to get messy without Oneness and Light as the landscape. I kept looking for someone to “see” me, to know me as I knew myself; to feel the Oneness I felt and to honor our individuality as a form of Oneness.
It seems I chose to be an empath this lifetime in addition to someone who was not seen from a soul level. I wanted to be seen… the same way I saw others. As an empath, I knew others from the inside out. I knew the needs, yearnings, and gifts of those around me. But no one seemed to know me the way I knew them. I could love them with a universal love that they often interpreted as personal love. I could see their light and rejoice, but they misinterpreted my joy for over-personal involvement. I couldn’t deny the love I experienced, so I had to reshape my reality to match my heart’s reality.
I had to figure out a new context for embodiment, one that would make sense from soul to cell and that would make sense of my life purpose, too. Figuring out how to be “here”, on this planet, without closing off my sensitivities to and awareness of the subtle realms became my goal. I was not willing to sacrifice any aspect of my being, to limit it to a secular perspective or a disembodied experience. I wanted the fullest human experience possible. I wanted a wingspan that stretched from the beyond to the now.
I realized I couldn’t be separated from my higher being and make sense of life. Embodiment only made sense when I connected to my higher nature and the Oneness and Love that exists in that realm of consciousness. The mind and soul split of western culture was not working for me at all, but a spirituality that allowed for full spectrum multi-dimensional consciousness did.
I listened to my heart, to Mother Earth, Father Sky, and to seen and unseen spiritual teachers and teachings. Through an awkward and zig-zagging process, I arrived at a new awareness. I learned I could be simultaneously aware of my higher being and my physical body. There is no separation, only nested realities of the One Truth.
It makes sense to me that my physical body is a fractal or an expression of my higher being. With that understanding, sensing the alignment and harmony between my physical reality and spiritual reality, there is no split or break. I am the hologram that physicists and mystics describe as the nature of our existence. This is the only way embodiment makes sense to me.
To live in this consciousness, I had to grow beyond where my culture thought I should be. It is not easy shedding the common social thought forms and expectations. As an empath, it was excruciatingly painful. I couldn’t shut off the telepathic senses that allowed me to feel and hear the judgments of those closest to me and yet, I could not shut down the guidance of my heart and soul. I had to learn to see myself as I wished others saw me. I had to substantiate and validate myself with little support from others. I had to learn to listen and respond to my inner guidance, disregarding the pulls and pushes of my dominant culture.
Each day, as my resolve strengthened, intuition and guidance came to my aid. I learned that life in the present moment doesn’t mean feeling limited by physical consciousness. Presence is multi-dimensional, spacious, loving and filled with light and inspiration. It becomes limited when I submit to one-dimensional thinking.
Knowing my body is the direct expression of spirit, of my higher being, infuses the sacred into the physical. Feeling the warmth of the living rays of the divine guiding my actions, thoughts, and feelings makes living more mysterious and exciting. Embodiment is the journey I have chosen. I can accept this as long as the sacred surrounds and informs my every moment. I can remember where I came from and where I am going and enjoy the journey from here to there.