Do you nurture your relationships? Or do you allow them to drain your energy and fester in the shadows of your hurt and anger? Can you commit to cleaning up the relationship area of your life with a loving heart and patient understanding? Our relationships can create a cloud of heavy energy that ultimately filters all that we do and feel. We end up projecting our pain and suffering on those around us because we’ve been lax in caring for our primary relationships. Our relationships deserve our time and love. Our lives are so driven by distractions that keep us distanced from relationships, it’s time to do a relationship check-in with those you love and care for the most. Often these are the people who receive the least high quality attention.
One of the reasons we might not keep our relationships current is due to our lack of listening skills. I find that it’s rare to have a conversation where someone actually listens without interrupting me mid-sentence. Interrupting gives the message that the person is not truly listening and is anxious, not truly present. Test this out for yourself let me know if you are experiencing the same thing.
It takes two people to have an interest in nurturing a relationship. Acknowledging how much a person means to you often feels risky and vulnerable. Are you willing to honor and commit to the power of your feeling for another person? Are you willing to savor your love or anger for another in and of itself? If you can do this you will free up the relationship from limiting control, manipulation and projections to find it’s right place and space in your life.
Feelings are what we feel within ourselves, to be enjoyed or processed within our own heart and soul. We’ve learned a different role for feelings in our culture. We’ve been taught that others have power over our feelings. What another thinks about our feeling is more important than how we experience our feeling. Feelings are powerful energies that are yours to savor and know in your truth. They are not meant to be “given” to another. We have subtle channels of energies called meridians that circulate the energies of emotion. These channels can cleanse and upgrade the energy of emotions into positive vitality for the body, heart and soul. Traditional Chinese Medical and Ayurvedic practitioners understand this about thoughts and emotions and while making a diagnosis and treatment plan take the hole person into account.
When we can honor and recognize our feelings as an internal source of power, relationship takes on a new meaning. We are not looking for another to “give back in kind” or “affirm” our feelings, rather we stand powerfully in our feelings and experience them for what they are….a powerful experience of our own being.
Once you learn to trust and channel your feelings within you are in a better position to do a relationship check-in. Relationship check-ins can come in different forms. For one person it might mean a deep conversation and for another it might mean doing something fun where a light hearted feeling fuels good vibes and connections. The goal of a relationship check-in is to find the next right place and space for your relationship; to breathe some life into the relationship through presence and loving attention. In our crazy world of speed dating and speed everything it might be worth while to slow things down a bit to check-in with your partner, children or good friend and create a space where the relationship can grow and catch up. Slow it up, ground, feel within, and give your total presence as a gift to another.